never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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