its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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