I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
my sisters under your porch take her home
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
