Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
You were trust falling into bushes
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
