you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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