I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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