Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
