the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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