I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
