Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
