sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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