That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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