The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
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