So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
