She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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