hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
