I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
