My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
