with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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