the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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