I forgot how hot balto sounded
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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