I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
