For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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