If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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