I didn't shave. On purpose
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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