yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
