I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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