Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
