its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
