Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
