This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Randomize
