I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
