Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
