i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
