mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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