i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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