I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Randomize
