how can u be prego again
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
