So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
