My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
