no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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