isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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