More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
