Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Randomize
