there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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