It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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