your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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