I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
is it fun? or sober?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
