I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
