i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
