my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
