I'm gonna have a badass scar
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Randomize
