Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
